Are you energized after a particularly robust lovemaking session? If not, you’re doing it wrong, according to sexpert Kim Anami.
Kim Anami appeared on Dave Asprey’s new podcast, “Sexual Energy Series,” to discuss the importance of harnessing one’s sexual energy. Asprey started “Sexual Energy Series” to teach people about sex since, he says, “Sex is a source of energy for all [adult] humans.” Yet Asprey and Anami say that the power of sex is often misunderstood. We’re constantly bombarded with messages that sex is dirty, shameful, or simply not that important. When we truly learn what sex can do for us, we may learn, as Anami says, “Sex is natural, it is healthy, it is even spiritual.”
Kim Anami is a sex and relationship coach, commentator, and vaginal weightlifter who believes in the life-changing power of sex. She teaches that having sex the right way can improve all areas of a person’s life. It begins with recognizing that, unlike what movies and the media often portray, sex shouldn’t tire you out. Quite the opposite.
“The big barometric question that I ask people is, does sex leave you feeling energized, revitalized, transformed, and like it changed your life?” Anami says. “And if the answer is no, then you’re doing it wrong.” Anami explains that there’s a way of having sex “that leaves you feeling like you want to go and run a marathon,” not like you want to pass out. And when people tap into sex as an energy source, they can apply that energy to areas of their lives like their relationships, health, creativity, work, and more. “I’ve found that there’s a direct correlation to how tapped in people are to their sexual energy and every other aspect of their lives,” Anami says.
The problem is that, as Anami puts it, people don’t know what they don’t know. There’s the lack of anatomical knowledge, first of all. For women, many sex toys are aimed at clitoral stimulation, but Anami says vaginal orgasms are more powerful. She has a line of Murano-style glass toys made to focus on the G-spot and cervix. While clitoral orgasms can serve a purpose, “The clitoris is literally the tip of the iceberg, and 90% of the power of female sexuality is in the vagina,” she says.
On top of not knowing their physical capabilities, many people have gotten the wrong programming about sex for decades. They’ve seen countless media portrayals of men and women collapsing, exhausted, after sex. And, Anami says, “They have bought into this narrative that sex is a small part of a relationship or other myths, like it’s normal to lose your sex drive and desire after two years.” As a result, “they don’t really understand the true power of what sex is and has to offer them in their relationship.”
Kim Anami works to show people what’s possible in their sex lives. She began hosting online presentations about sex and intimacy. She started sexual salons and an online sex and education school. “Amazingly, I think it’s been even better than in-person counseling,” she tells Asprey, because it helped remove the intimidation factor of seeing a sex and relationship coach. “I think having this screen, anonymity … it helped people to feel like they could do this or they could get their partners involved in doing this without having to have the stigma of walking into an office or walking into this public space,” she says.
In addition to hosting her online sex and education school, Anami presents Vaginal Kung Fu workshops where she helps women literally strengthen their vaginas. While Anami herself can lift 10 pounds with her vagina, she says that most women have under-functioning vaginas. This can cause sexual dissatisfaction or disinterest, but the implications are even more serious. Anami cited a Yale University School of Medicine study that found up to 60% of women experience urinary incontinence. “And 50% of women after childbirth have POP, or pelvic organ prolapse.” Vaginal Kung Fu is an eight-week virtual salon aimed at strengthening and toning the vagina and improving orgasms. The workshop consists of physical exercises, including work with a jade egg and guided visualizations to connect and strengthen these parts of the anatomy that are not given the attention they deserve.
Overall, Kim Anami views sex as powerful and spiritual because sex and spirituality share “this idea of opening and surrendering, and trying to put the little self aside to open up to this divine channel and flow of energy.”
“That’s really what my work is trying to gear people toward,” she tells Asprey. “It’s having life-changing cataclysmic, therapeutic, deep, powerful, even psychedelic-type experiences that really change your life. If it’s not changing your life, you’re doing it wrong.”